I’m goin’ to Armadill’,
or else my wife they’ll kill,
so I have to ride to Fort Mercer and shoot my old friend Bill,
well, I didn’t shoot him, but he shot me,
but I was saved by Bonnie!
Bonnie was a darlin’
brought me to Ranch MacFarlane,
gave me bed and horse and rifle, though my shooting was appallin’,
Well, I thanked her and rode merrily,
cause I’ve been saved by Bonnie!
I met this guy West Dickens,
and that’s where the plot thickens,
after him and Seth and Irish scumminess was sure slim pickings,
well, we stormed the Fort. Was Bill there? No,
he hightailed it to Mexico!
Instead of riding to him,
I’s huntin’ and I’s shootin’,
shot deer and fox and cougar but the raccoon kept eludin’,
well, raccoons were nowhere to be found,
now I lay in the cold damp ground!
Now this here ends my story,
don’t cry and don’t you worry,
I lived my life my own way and I surely don’t feel sorry,
cause my bestest friend lies next to me,
got buried with my horsie!