Invisibility: A Diary

Got the bag of invisibility pills today I bought off eBay. Quite cheap, actually. The instructions state clearly that you have to take one daily, else the effect could wear off at inopportune times. Told Simone I had to visit my grandfather, called in sick at work, ready to go!

Day 1
Woke up, went into the bathroom, nearly fainted when I saw nothing but freefloating underpants reflecting in the mirror. I’m invisible! Marvelous! I thought of going out, but I still don’t trust these pills that much. Wouldn’t want to rematerialize stark naked in front of people, right?
Noticed that it’s fucking hard to type correctly with invisible fingers. I had to rewrite this entry like four times.
Phoned Mike, told him that I was invisible. He didn’t believe me, so I sent him a webcam shot. Didn’t convince him. Ass!

Day 2
Made an interesting discovery. If you chew the pills, instead of just swallowing them, they seem to follow the actual laws of physics. Since no light could reflect off my retina, I was blind the whole day. Spent it panicking and sleeping. Thought about stopping the daily pill intake, but my sight’d now returning slowly. Phew!

Day 3
Fuck. Finally found the courage to go out, went out of my apartment door, crashed down the stairs and fell flat on my stupid face. Apparently stairs are much harder to maneuver when you don’t see your feet. Neighbours came out looking because of my agonized screams, but I made it back without being noticed. I can not recommend falling down a stone staircase stark naked.

Day 4
Woke up still smarting. Stayed at home and watched TV.

Day 5
I did it! I ran nude amongst my fellow men (and women too, wink wink nudge nudge). What a liberating feeling. No one could see me, but I could see them. Wow! I couldn’t get enough, probably spent four hours outside.

Day 6
Got a fucking cold. Maybe I shouldn’t have done this mid-December. There aren’t so many pills left, I noticed. Better do something with actual meaning next time.

Day 7
Spent the whole day spying on Simone. God, never knew that girl was so boring. She spent the day being completely faithful to me. What a waste of time!

Day 8
Snuck into the local gynecologist’s practice. Still shaking. Those are stronger men than I am. Don’t know if I can look at a spatula ever again.

Day 9
Only one left. I probably should start stealing money or something. Problem is: Where to put it? Even if I try to hide something in my fist, it’s perfectly visible. I tried one other area, but… yeah, no way.

Day 10
I am just happy to be still alive. Popped the last pill today, went out, just walked into a grocery shop and reached over and grabbed for the money when the register opened. I wish I hadn’t looked back to see their faces as the money apparently flew right out of the register, because I ran onto the street without looking and was hit by a SUV, who had quite good reasons to not having seen me coming when I think about it. The money flew all over the sidewalk, I dragged my sorry ass home. I hope nothing’s broken.

Day 11
Holy Shit! Why hasn’t anybody told me that I had a giant pimple on my forehead? Oh, right.

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